Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
