That's when you crack a 10am beer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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