You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
