I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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