Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize