There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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