I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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