That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
