It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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