Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
