i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
