just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
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You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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