I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize