But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
