I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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