i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
don't judge my taste in strippers
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize