if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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