either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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