A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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