Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We got so high we made milksteak
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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