I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
