last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
