how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
