So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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