If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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