hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
