Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
