She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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