I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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