I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
