Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
