To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
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first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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