I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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