I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize