So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
