Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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