Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
