Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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