Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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