You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
