i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
