just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
