you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
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I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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