I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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