my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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