Operation Purity has been aborted
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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