I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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