Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
