Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.