all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
