As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
last night I used snow as a chaser
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
