Nicole vs. Life
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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