I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize