were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
