my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he puts the penis in happiness.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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